Irony for Lunch

I left work at the Marriot Library and called Lydia, my little sister. "What are you doing?"

"Eating lunch with Mom at Crown Burger."

I was hoping to join them, but I was just too late, they already had their food and I was a good ten minutes away, and I was grumpy about it. So I said, "But I'm hungry and all alone with no one to eat with."

And she, quickly and with no mercy replied, "Well, then make a friend."

That was not what I wanted to hear. So then, all alone, I decided to go through the Wendy's drive thru on Foothill. I got there and the line was long. I looked at Red Robbin next door. I thought about it and figured I'd never make a friend eating in a car by myself (unless the Wendy's staff really liked me)and I ought to have a little adventure anyway so I parked and went to Red Robbin by myself. (I never made a friend in there but I didn't make any enemies either so I thought that was just as good.) From the moment I walked in, I felt awkward and acutely aware that I didn't belong because I was the only female sitting at a table. As I stewed over the menu, I reflected on how much of a "man restaurant" Red Robbin is with a hearty, burger-dominated menu, motorcycle pictures, and a sports channel on TV. I resigned myself to a salad, but upon discovering they didn't have a Ceasar, I decided once and for all I would get a burger. Salad did not sound yummy and besides I was in a man's restaurant so it seemed strange to order a salad even though I know that the burgers there are hard to eat because they are huge and messy. (The only other time I ate at RR I was on a date; you can't look hot, eat a burger inches taller than your mouth, and have a conversation all at the same time; so my date and I did an awkward little dance of talking and looking good then each taking a bite and not looking at the other person while they chewed).

Anyway, my burger arrived and I dug in. I glanced at the table of men next to me, and guess what they were eating? Salads.

I tried not to choke while I was laughing.